My friend asked me today whether I prefer being alone when I'm having a bad/sad day or if I have to feel connected to people and be around others when I'm feeling pooey. I think, looking back on my bad days, I really need to connection with others because I'm usually having a bad day because I feel alone. Talking about my concerns makes me feel a lot better, but even just being in the same room as someone, knowing they want to be in my presence, makes me feel a lot better. I find the people who are most helpful to me in those situations are my bestest friends. I'm kind of surprised it's not my family, but sometimes I just feel like I can open up to my friends better because I feel like they are going through the same situations and can really understand what's happening and why I'm feeling that way (whoa, run on sentence!). I should try to talk to my family more. They're really busy though and probably don't have time to hear about my little problems. And I'm not saying that I have all of these huge issues that I need to talk to someone about- it's just that sometimes we all have bad days and need to vent about the craziness of life.
Something I discovered today: One unfair thing I expect from those around me is that I want them to be able to just look at me and read my feelings at any given moment. I just wish people would look at me and know exactly what I needed, that I needed to be comforted, and know exactly how to do it. I definitely don't possess this extraordinary talent when it comes to any of my friends and their feelings, so I shouldn't expect it of them. But, come on, wouldn't that be amazing? Ah, only in a perfect world.
Just a little plug dealing with the gospel: I'm so thankful that I do have one person who knows exactly what I'm going through, how it makes me feel, and what to do to make me feel better. This knowledge has helped me through a lot and I wish that everyone knew of His comforting power. I know I'd have a lot more sad days if I didn't have Him.
10 comments:
I am the same way Nikkin. But when I am having a crappy day, I feel like I need to isolate myself, so I don't rain on everyone else's day. When in all reality all I want is to be with everyone. I am crazy though, and you know it.
I wish I had that special power of knowing how to comfort you in the exact way you need it. Just know, if you ever need anything I will do it for you. Cause, you know, I am here for you, my love.
Seriously. What would we do without the Savior? Thanks for the blog Nicci!
I like the new look. I'm more of one to want to be alone. I'm not sure why but I don't really like talking about what I'm feeling because I try not to think about it. And then if someone asks me how I'm doing it makes me bawl which I also dislike, especially in public. If anything, I like to sleep.
Anytime you need to talk or chill and not talk feel free to come over or call. I know I'm technically family and all... don't wory though, I won't judge you.
Um...sad days. Let's see, I think back in the non-prego days I would go running or work out. And this would generally be alone. That always made me clear my head and not think about whatever was making me upset, and I always felt better after doing something positive for my body. However, I always do better when I can vent to someone. So whether I worked out or not, I still needed to talk to someone who I felt could understand the difficulty I was currently facing.
Now it's a little different. Running isn't an option and most of my grief these days comes from my belly stretching farther than it ever should, causing quite a bit of discomfort. Back is always in pain. Baby never stops moving. She sits on my bladder or something -- I don't know what -- but it's slightly painful and makes me almost wet pants regardless of how recently I just went to the bathroom. So...all physical ailments there. The only comfort I will get is called delivery....and that doesn't sound too appealing.
this is long. but when I am mad, I have to have a moment alone first and then I have to talk about it. I have to gather my thoughts and get myself together. If I let it out as soon as it has happened ... I will blow up and totally over react. I am a complicated person, I think. poor james. :o)
Hey, I didn't notice that you changed your blog template. It is pretty much the same as mine, but a different color. we are so much the same, and have the same brain.
I really like this post... A LOT! I like it becaue I feel the same SAME way and when I am having a crappy day, sometimes I pretend I am not and go hang out with my bestest friends and laugh and never say anything and it makes ti so much better... to look around the room and know that at least you love someone. I like the plug for the gospel... it's choice.
really though, how I love the blogger world, this was uplifting.
I think when I'm having a bad day I am not a very nice person, so in that sense I like to be alone so I don't say things I'm going to regret. But you guys (meaning friends) always try to chear me up, even if I just reject it. But it does help, so thanks for sticking by me.
I must admit my dear Nikki, usually I have no idea how to help you and sometimes it seems like you just push us away (or I guess me; I won't speak for anyone else). But I guess that's how a lot of us are. But now that I know the truth, next time your having a crabby day, I'm takin' you out for some ice cream :)
ER, I change my mind. When I am having a bad day, all I need is some ice cream. yeah.
Yes, ice cream solves many problems.
Nikki, even though I am married, I'm really not a different species and you can come hang out any time, on a good or bad day:)
I totally know what you mean with wishing people could know how you feel and who you are just by looking at you. I wish that a lot with friends and fam, but also when I meet new people. I wish that somehow they could just know my personality and know what to say to me right off the bat. It would take away so much insecurity.
As for my sad day habits, I'm always one of those sulk alone kind of people because, like mindy, I am really not fond of people seeing me cry. But if it's just a grumpy, lethargic mood, I'm definetly on the gregarious side.
wait a minute Micquel. You're not a different species now? Well, that changes everything. I miss you even more.
maybe not a different species...but for some reason it's hard for single friends and married friends to remain "hang out pals" or whatever. It starts before marriage though...dating seriously and being engaged also create these same results. It is sad, but it makes sense. I felt the same way about my married friends before I was married. But I do miss you all, my dear single friends. I'm married and a very soon to be mama, but same person here. just more stretch marks. :o) Thanks for coming to my baby shower. It was so good to see you all there! But seriously, I am a stay-at-home wife/mom and am available all the time. james works a lot. call anytime.
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